Hannah On A Mission

Okay, so I'm not officially going on a mission, not yet anyway.  But I got a huge prompting to go on one and I know it's something I need and want to do.  I didn't want to at first.  I mean I reeaallyy didn't want to go, but Heavenly Father is doing a darn good job of preparing me for one and I am pumped! That's what this whole blog is about!  In a sense, I'm preparing to prepare for a mission.  I'll be documenting the whole process, from sharing amazing scripture studies and completing a bucket list before I leave, to putting together my mission wardrobe and trying out quick and easy recipes for when I'm on the field.  I'm hoping to be able to keep up the blog while on my mission to share my experiences and to share even more of what I love about Heavenly Father and His church.  I'm doing all I can to show Heavenly Father that I'm worthy enough and ready to spread His gospel wherever He needs me to be.

"Never postpone a prompting." -Thomas S. Monson, Prophet

Before I was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I investigated the Church for a little over 2 years (I explain it all in this post).  During that time I met the two most amazing missionaries anyone could ask for.  When I first started going to a YSA (Young Single Adult) ward I felt like something pretty big was about to happen, but in a really weird way...

I couldn't shake this feeling that I was running out of time.  Running out of time for what, Hannah?  I had no clue..  I felt rushed with everything in my life; with going to school, with making art again, and just life in general.  I kept trying to figure it out on my own and all I thought was, "I'm going to die. This feeling means I'm going to die.  I'm running out of time for life itself."  That sounds ridiculous, but it's honestly what I thought!

One night I had decided to tell one of my best friends about this feeling.  He knew I had tried to take the missionary discussions about a year prior, and that I had been keeping up with scripture reading, so he said "Hannah, I think that's the Spirit telling you you need to take the lessons again, and soon.."  In that moment it was like the Heaven's opened up and a huge weight was lifted!  An AHA! moment, if you will.  I didn't feel rushed anymore or like I was running out of time and the Spirit was so strong.  Now I was feeling excited, nervous, and happy. But most of all, I felt ready.

I had some trouble choosing which missionaries I wanted to take the lessons from.  I knew a set of Sister missionaries I adored and then there were the awesome Elders at my YSA.  I prayed about which missionaries were supposed to teach me and got an undeniable YES for the Elders!  Next thing I knew I was asking Elder Beard and Elder Nielsen to teach me!  The lessons went really well, and due to my long term investigating, I aced all of their questions ;)

Elder Nielsen, Matthew, Me!, and Elder Beard after our last lesson

It was about a month before I was baptized when I finally got the prompting to go on a mission.  It was during FHE (Family Home Evening) one Monday night at the YSA -acronyms for days!- and I was talking to Elder Beard.  Y'all know the saying, be careful what you wish for, right?  Just before I received the prompting I was thinking about how amazing and brave I thought missionaries were and how I wished I could be that brave.  That was just what Heavenly Father needed from me and promptly granted my wish (answered my prayer) by telling me I need to serve a mission.  The only other time I felt The Spirit so strongly was when I received confirmation that The Book of Mormon and this Church was true, so it's safe to say that a mission is where Heavenly Father needs me to be!

It took a couple of days to process.  I struggle with a social anxiety, and I was worrying about the number of people I would have to talk to on my mission.  I was also freaking out because I hadn't even been baptized yet and the fact that I got such a strong prompting to do something I couldn't accomplish for another year, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. So I prayed about it (sort of).. Remember how I said that I reeaallyy didn't want to go?  Well my prayers were basically me telling Heavenly Father if He needed me to go on a mission, then I would.  But it would be super duper cool if He didn't.  However, the more I pondered the prompting, the more excited I got and the more I felt the Spirit from it, but I still didn't want to go..

All of that lasted about a week and by the next Monday the prompting seemed to be gone.  I was fine with that, and honestly a little relieved.  I figured all Heavenly Father needed was to know that I'd be willing to go.  However, after a few months, out of the blue, I remembered the prompting-which you could argue was another prompting in and of itself.  Heavenly Father was saying "Remember this?  It was real, and I need you to go."  I prayed about it again, this time with much more intent and got a definite yes.  I told Him I was ready, willing, and wanting.  I asked for His help and guidance to prepare me for my mission, and my prayers are being answered everyday.

"I promise that because of your faithful response to the call to spread the Gospel, He will Bind up your broken hearts, dry your tears, and set you and your families free. That is my missionary promise to you and your missionary message to the world." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I am so grateful for my missionaries!  They were (still are) such amazing and loving examples to me, and I'm so happy they were able to teach me and be a part of my life.  If I could, I would take the lessons from them all over again!  They changed my life and I wouldn't be where I am without them, and I definitely wouldn't be this eager to go on a mission.  Missionaries are such an inspiration to me and I can't wait to be one soon!